Obviously, I'm back in Israel now. It hasn't changed much, except for the growing prominence of the threat of war between Israel and Iran. On one hand, it's a scary thought (and I seriously doubt that the Iranian government will make its decisions based on practical matters rather than ideology, so I don't know how optimistic I feel about the sanctions that are an effort to get Iran to halt its nuclear development program)...and on the other, I remember the threat of Iran being a big deal when I first flew into Israel in September 2009 (the same day, the Ahmadinejad was giving a speech at the United Nations and several nations walked out during his talk). This country has experienced relative calm for nearly three years. Considering there was a significant conflict in 2008-2009 (Gaza) and another in 2006 (Lebanon) and I'm not sure when the one before that was (the one I hear about most aside from those two is the Persian Gulf War in the early 90's), it's been an unusually long time since a conflict erupted. But it's probably not good to think then that a conflict must be overdue. Warfare isn't overdue anywhere.
I keep thinking I'm going to have a hard time getting people to understand that I lived in Israel for three years yet am not pro-Israel, pro-Palestine (let's face it, at this point in history they both have a good argument), Jewish OR Christian. I have yet to see which preconception will be the most common/hardest to disspell.
For four weeks I've been taking Iyengar yoga classes at a local studio twice a week. I think it's the best decision I've made here. Finally I'm meeting some locals and seeing what Israelis outside of the service professions are really like (granted, it can't be said it's not a very specific subset of Israelis...the ones who do yoga). My goodness, they're sweet. They'll do anything to help you. The classes are taught in Hebrew and some of them go out of their way to translate for me and help me. There is a very sweet Russian lady I see often named Nina who says she thinks I've been doing yoga longer than I have because I'm so flexible. I tried to tell her I was born that way. (It's definitely an asset.) In a way it's a chance to escape into a wider world and it's teaching me how to turn off my mind sometimes and relax. Since it's a style that's so focused on precision it makes me much more conscious of how I sit at work and walk and carry myself. But most of all it helps me to feel that I'm really living in a foreign country and this is real life, not some weird suspension of time in a bubble. I wish I had been willing to make such an investment sooner, but what can I do but relish it now?
As I hoped, I am gradually picking up more and more Hebrew and getting more and more courageous about using it...even if much of my vocabulary is anatomical and directional (can't think why).
Now that I'm likely under the four month mark (depending on when I choose to leave...I'm thinking early June) I'm beginning to think seriously about the process of relocating. I have a few possessions to sell, mostly books and art supplies, not many. I have a lot of heavy books to ship back (these are what I have accumulated the most of), but I get a free 40 kilo allowance and I think that should take care of that (and if needed I can always pay for more). And that's that. Just like that I'll wrap up my life here and it will be like I was never here except for my initials on a few logs in the pilgrimage database and a few paintings I may as well leave behind because I don't like them that much and they may as well spruce up a flat here like so many found objects. I'll take a lot more back with me from this place than it's going to end up with from me. I'm pretty small in the grand scheme of things.
The biggest issue regarding my departure on my mind is what traveling I'll do on the way back. I couldn't not go visit Jaime in Superior for a week or two since we've had the chance to spend so very little time together in the past three years (really, in all our lives). That's decided...I just have to plan it.
As long as I'll be crossing half the world, I might do well to think of it as my chance to see a little more of the world (though I definitely appreciate how much I've been able to see...I've been all over Israel [I might even go to Jerusalem for a third time next Saturday], and I've spent substantial time in two very different, fascinating European countries, plus I got to have a good visit home). Of course, I am also trying to bear in mind the fact that grad school is in no way cheap even when the goal is to earn only one master's degree, and I hope to study abroad in that period (and now that I have friends all over the world, that study abroad period could easily encapsulate more travel within itself [how much more travelling do I need to do?]. Sometimes I have to step back and remember that I've been very lucky).
In any case, the traveling I've done from here has always been with the goal of being with family or friends...honestly, I've done enough sightseeing that I'm not interested in it for its own sake (if anyone really is). So, if I don't see France or Italy or Greece or Turkey or God knows where, just to see them, I'm okay with that. If you have any thoughts on what you would do or what you think I should do, I'm glad to hear them.
And speaking of grad school...it would seem I'm as good as accepted into my desired programs. I think I must know for sure within the next six weeks because I believe course selection occurs in April but I would think I should know the final decision by the end of this month. I'm starting to get nervous about the practical reality of how it's going to be. It really sounds like you don't get a moment to yourself and I have to say I rapidly adjusted, quite happily, to not having any homework. But I'm really excited to have found a coordinated degree program that seems to suit my interests and needs so hand-in-glovely and I think I'm ready to make the most of it. I've got to talk to more people, though, to brace myself for the real reality of it. (Is there any point in saying "real reality"? For emphasis I suppose. It feels right.) In any case I'm sure I can do it. I feel confident that I've found the right field(s) and that I have a good vision for the future. Though I never thought I would be saying that, I'm so glad I'll be going back to Milwaukee. I miss people.
